By: Luis Siana, SNN Correspondent
The deportee, known only as “El Equivocado,” had been granted relief by Swamplandia’s rarely-consulted Court of Decorative Justice. Despite the ruling, immigration officials loaded him onto a one-way charter flight to MegaPrisión #7 (slogan: “No Process in Due Time”), nestled somewhere between a banana grove and a foreign policy loophole.
In yet another bold demonstration of bureaucratic brilliance, Swamplandia officials confirmed Monday that they had “accidentally” deported a man who was legally protected from removal by court order—then shrugged and called it a win for national security.
When asked whether the man would be returned, President Trumplón of Swamplandia responded from his golden lawn chair, “We offered to facilitate his return, which means we’re morally off the hook.”
President Bukeloco, seated next to him with a confident smirk, added, “Return him? What is this, Amazon Prime?”
Observers say the duo appeared energized by their shared disdain for international law, logic, and laminated court orders. Both leaders later autographed a fax machine which they claim can now process extraditions with a signature and a really strong Wi-Fi signal.
Legal scholars, meanwhile, are divided. Judge Enwrong of the 9½th Circuit Court said in a press statement, “We ruled unanimously that he must be returned immediately, but in Swamplandia, ‘immediately’ is discretionary.
Back on the streets, locals Luis and Siana — weren’t surprised.
“First they deport him by accident… then they say they’ll airdrop him back? What is this, border control or Kafka’s Got Talent?”
Luis stone-faced. “We follow the rules. They play spin-the-Maga”
Stay tuned for next week’s report: “BREAKING: Supreme Court Orders Return of Missing Constitution Page — Officials Claim It Was Used as a Napkin During Deportation Meeting.”
